VENUS AND MARS
THE IRRITATING DIFFERENCES
Chapter one.
Mars and Venus….Hmmm. Technically speaking I am a firm batter for the Venus team, and therefore I don’t exactly embrace change. And, technically speaking, on the whole, my husband and I have a great relationship. (i.e. he thinks he’s the boss and I let him think he is..)
But there comes a point where I need to put my foot down and say ‘enough’. In the five years I have known my Mars, he has turned from a meat eating, lasagne relishing carnivore, to a vegetarian who can’t stand the smell of the beast on the stove, let alone, heaven forbid, anything that may have once breathed passing his lips at all. And now, Mr Mars has turned into Mr Green. Fine – I am all for saving the planet, and certainly do my fair share towards ensuring our future on the eco front. I have embraced this change in lifestyle, and am happy to recycle, use reduced washing powder on a shorter, cooler cycle, use ecover washing up liquid and dishwasher tablets, and even agree to use ammonia and peroxide-free tints to cover my stubborn greys. The latter has a nasty habit of refusing to end up the golden brown colour so uxoriously displayed on the box, but instead leaves me looking more like I have poured slurry over my head. Lovely.
I even comply with using eco-friendly loo rolls. You know the stuff – it’s all too similar to the cheap ones the council put in public toilets. But our eco-friendly rolls cost a fortune, and leave you feeling like you’ve been sliding downhill on sandpaper. Ouch.
But vinegar in the bathroom? It would appear now that I am not even allowed to expel the nasty germs with my anti-bacterial spray in the two most visited rooms in the house, most of which are produced by Mars, who spends hours seeing off the vegetarian food he has consumed.
So what’s’ next? And who would be the first to complain if my trusty stain remover was no longer in use? Then every shirt he has would bear the tell sale signs of his newly acquired veggie diet all down the fronts.
Maybe I will buy him a push-bike for his birthday, along with a nice warm scarf. Wool, of course. It may be itchy, but it’s nice and natural, unlike all those nice soft synthetic materials. This way, he could ride the thirty miles to work every day on his bike and leave his car at home. This would really help save our planet from one of its main irritants.
Speaking of planets and irritants, it would seem that Mars has soared to number one on the chart….
Post Article:
Submit Your Own Article